NEW YORK, NY — The world watched in horror last night as a large group of indoctrinated woke extremists destroyed a woke extremist indoctrination center.

Experts expressed serious concern that woke extremist indoctrination may slow to a crawl after an unexpected turn of events resulted in woke indoctrinated extremists launching a violent, destructive assault on a renowned woke extremist indoctrination center.

"We didn't see this coming," said one official. "After spending decades brainwashing young, impressionable people into volatile, savage revolutionaries, we were shocked to see them unleash such volatility and savagery while trying to launch a revolution. We wish there had been warning signs along the way."

Students who engaged in the violent attack were thankful for the years of intense training they received from the institution they were now actively working to destroy. "I owe everything I am to this place," shouted one protester as he threw an improvised Molotov cocktail through the window of the administrative building. "I could never have grown into the angry, destructive, violent person I am without the education I received here. While you're here, can you help me set the place on fire?"

Authorities watched the vicious display, unsure how to proceed. "What are we supposed to do in this situation?" asked one officer. "Do we save the institution that taught these people to think and behave this way? Wouldn't that just allow them to create more woke extremists? This is a real pickle."

At publishing time, the school's leadership was confident that the government would do nothing to impede their ongoing efforts to make the country worse and more dangerous.

Want proof that Jesus was a woke socialist? Look no further than these classic quotes straight from the Bible.